Crisp Boundaries

Last Updated on Wednesday, 16 November 2011 02:11 Written by Wes Wednesday, 16 November 2011 02:11

The following post from way back in 2007 is a Porn Addiction Classic that gets bumped to the top from time to time.

Crisp Boundaries
by “Black Spiral”

I was sorting through some old email today, and came across a phrase that I’d forgotten about - “Crisp boundaries”. It was in an email dated when I was six months and two weeks into my own recovery, and was relating to the fact that I was trying to make sure that I didn’t let my boundaries relax. And being that it’s the time of year it is - and the fact that, when people relax for the holidays they may also relax their boundaries without really thinking about it - I think it’s something worth giving another look over.

Boundaries is one area that addicts seem to have trouble with. And I’m not talking so much about creating them in the first place, but more about then enforcing them after the fact, or with keeping them strict - as my wife and I described it, keeping those boundaries crisp, rather than sloppy or loose. It’s a habit that addicts have, I think; one of justifying or minimizing our behavior, rather than taking true responsibility for it, and action to address it. An obvious example is a guy who decides that he firstly has to quit porn, but decides that to support his recovery he’ll also quit browsing sites that show fairly ordinary pictures of actresses. A couple of weeks later, he ends up on a website that shows those pictures; but he dismisses it. He admits that he shouldn’t have been there, but it’s not porn, so it’s not dreadful, and his important boundary is still up.

You can read the rest of the post by clicking here.

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